Volume 76

Author

Allison Punch
November 28, 2023

I’ve struggled with consistency with this newsletter all year, but I’m going to reframe it as a positive: I’m on the precipice of a new creative journey. It’s going to involve the newsletter, but it also may involve tinkering with new formats. So here we go… 

To quickly recap: This fall, I:

  • Cried tears of joy at my oldest friend’s wedding

  • Faced some serious highs and serious lows at my day job (some I’ll be able to share publicly very soon!)

  • Began yoga teacher training & completed half the program

  • Hosted family visits almost once a month

  • Took a much-needed vacation with my wife

  • Saw Kiana Lede in concert for the second time

  • Saw Andrew McMahon in concert for the sixth (!) time

  • Became obsessed with the music of Cleo Sol. OBSESSED. 

  • Didn’t read nearly enough

Photo by my wife

With so much going on, I was grateful to have some time off work: first, for a belated anniversary trip to San Diego with my wife and more recently an extended Thanksgiving weekend. Whenever I have time off, my stress instantly evaporates. My jaw loosens, I sleep better, suddenly my problems feel very small. I enjoy my job, and I’m grateful for the opportunities it provides but damn, it sucks we have to work for money.

In San Diego, my wife and I hiked in the sunshine, watched women’s soccer, ate delicious seafood and reconnected after a very hectic fall. We also had an argument on our first night that I now begrudgingly admit was influenced by a long travel day, minimal sleep, and legal substances, but in the moment felt like a deep, terrifying gap in our values that threatened my sense of self. Did I mention I’ve spent a lot of this fall feeling on the edge?

It began because I was trying to express how I want to deepen my community and be even more vulnerable with those I love. Community is one of those terms that’s thrown around so much that now every time someone mentions it, they mention how much it’s thrown around. (Dizzy yet? Me too). She told me I was being too hard on myself; I was insistent that she just wasn’t understanding what I was saying. Enter aforementioned substances and lack of sleep, and it devolved.

But…  This isn’t me saying she’s right, but once I have a minute out of the office, once I delete TikTok off my phone, once I’ve actually been committed to my yoga practice, I can notice the community that I’ve built - the one that’s right in front of me - is pretty great as is.

Recently, I saw Evan for the first time since August. Evan was one of my first real friends in DC. We through a mutual friend, and when that friend announced they were moving to Ohio, Evan told me, “you know we’re keeping you, right?” Between schedules, life, and my move to suburban lesbiandom, I don’t see him as often as I’d like, so it was overdue. I mentioned that I was sad we didn’t have storage space for a fake tree because buying a real tree didn’t make financial sense when we’re traveling for Christmas and not hosting a Holigays party (last year I said the same thing, and then my wife got sick so we were in our apartment on Christmas after all!). Turned out that Evan had a fake tree he hasn’t used since moving years ago, so the following day, my wife and I went over to pick it up from him, spent time playing backgammon and catching up with Evan and another friend Matt, before bringing it home to decorate. The Christmas lights have instantly re-energized me after 5 PM sunsets sucked me dry.

The timing felt very serendipitous: I hadn’t seen him in awhile, and when I reached out, he generously offered the exact thing I’d been looking for. When I look back, I've had many rich moments, particularly in my early 30s, where I’ve felt lonely or disconnected only to realize that I have exactly what I need.

What I'm Reading

  • I just finished Jesmyn Ward’s latest Let Us Descend and it is a masterpiece. Heavy trigger warning - this historical fiction/magical realism novel follows our protagonist Arese as she experiences enslavement, grief, love, resilience, and a descent into hell. It was heavy and dense but also a lyrical reading experience I’ll never forget. 

  • I started Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner and it is SPICY. I’m loving this lesbian soccer romance. I’m a certified NARP (Non-Athlete Regular Person) and so you definitely don’t have to be a sports gay to be absorbed into Phoebe and Grace’s story.

  • I’ve been enjoying reading Farwa’s sparknotes posts (see chapter one here!) on The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917 - 2017 and picked up a copy for myself at Loyalty’s Small Business Saturday sale.

  • This piece, "How I stopped buying my way out of everything," from Erin’s newsletter that resonates too much. As part of my yoga teacher training, I’ve been thinking a lot about the niyamas including Aparigraha, meaning non-hoarding or taking only what you need. I’m going to write a longer form newsletter about this someday.

  • Really loved this piece from Ijeoma Oluo that was shared by Leave it to Leonor

Community Care

  • My beloved local indie Loyalty Books is less than $10,000 away from their crowdfunding goal! Loyalty has been an integral part of the beloved community in my neighborhood, the broader DMV, and - it’s not an exaggeration to say this - the literary community as a whole. As a Black, Asian and queer owned business that unapologetically centers the diverse, marginalized communities it serves, Loyalty needs our support to ensure they are here for the long haul. Please donate before November 30th!

  • I’ve been so inspired by the organizing of Palestinian Youth Movement, and donated when I was unable to attend their DC march earlier this month.

Small Business Corner

Before proceeding with this section, please make sure you’ve read the article linked above on buying your way out of everything! I know this time of year wreaks absolute havoc on my wallet and self control; that said, because shopping early and shopping small is so important this time of year, here are some small, BIPOC- and/or queer-owned businesses that I’ve previously or currently given as gifts. 

  • Z&Z spice set for the chef in your life! A quick story time about this DMV-based, Palestinian-owned business that made me smile recently: Back in 2015, I worked for 6 months with one of the owners, Johnny, before he went full time with the business. He remembered me and when I bought the spice set for my dad, sent me an extra Shawarma spice as a gift, along with a thoughtful note. 

  • Puzzles of Color is a great gift for a relaxing activity for the winter months; I especially love this yoga puzzle by DMV-based artist Brianna Pippens 

  • Calabash Tea is an amazing gift for the tea lover in your life. I also love the Calm Bomb and would make a great stocking stuffer.

  • Candles With Attitude - especially their Aesthetic Candle collection for the sneakerhead in your life, or just someone with good taste!

  • Wet for Her - now, this may just be a gift for yourself or a partner, or maybe you’re less prude than me and can buy a sex toy for your friends. You can use the code ALLISONREADSDC for $10 off your purchase of $80+.