Vol. 44: Some thoughts on rest & complacency

Happy Tuesday, friends!

I’m forever impressed by my friend Leonor who has an incredible and regular weekly newsletter. Not only is her newsletter thoughtfully written & impeccably curated, but she has kept it up every single week for just under 300 weeks. Yes, if you’re doing the math, that’s YEARS. And in the midst of minor life events such as, I don’t know, having a child, she arranged for guest writers??? It’s awe-inspiring.

There’s something really beautiful about that consistency. I’ve been struggling a bit lately regaining my footing on a biweekly newsletter after taking a couple of breaks over the spring.  I was really motivated to write and share weekly at the start of the year, but looking back, I was also a teeny bit depressed. Am I still? Is writing an outlet or is it a chore? Is it both?

I’m in so many different phases of transition and stagnancy - sometimes occurring simultaneously - and I find what’s mostly missing in my life is intentionality. Am I relaxing, or am I procrastinating? Am I relaxing, or am I running the same three errands again and again on a loop seeking some unattainable happiness? Am I happy with my current position or am I complacent in privilege? And most importantly, why can’t I stop scrolling on all of the damn social media apps that actually just make my anxiety worse?

My therapist recommended a gratitude journal as a way of grounding & intentionality in the day to day. Naturally, I’ve only done this once since she suggested it so here’s some recent things I’m grateful for. 

• Burger night dates with my wife

• Beyoncé

• Summer produce - cherries, peaches, tomatoes, yes please

• A small break in the unbearable DMV humidity

• At the Clint Smith & Will Jawando event, when Clint spoke about the wonder he gets pausing to play on the floor with his children, and how it reminds him why he is working to create a better world.

What are you grateful for these days? I’d love to hear. 

Would also love to hear any topics or questions you’d like me to cover in the newsletter - I’m sourcing ideas!

Books, books & more books!

• Currently reading: White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminist Betrays Women of Color by Ruby Hamad. I love the way that Hamad deconstructs the “innocence” myth surrounding white womanhood. White women broadly & feminists specifically have had so many opportunities over centuries to grapple with honest feedback about how they (we) continue to perpetuate harm against women of color, but instead double down on reasserting power, violence and what Hamad calls “Strategic White Womanhood.” I really appreciate reading the global perspective offered here, as Hamad is from Australia and looks at colonialism and racism beyond the US-only perspective I’ve historically read.

• I’m also still rereading Song of Solomon. My focus has been kind of shot (see: social media scrolling mentioned above) so I switched to nonfiction and weirdly it held my attention more. I hope to get back to finish my reread soon.

• Backlist book recommendation: Longtime readers/IG friends know I recommend this every summer, but if you’re looking for unputdownable nonfiction, I cannot recommend Five Days at Memorial by Sherri Fink enough. This reads like a novel and is a fascinating, horrifying examination of medical ethics in crisis during Hurricane Katrina. While I think it deserves a rewrite with a deeper anti-racism and ableism lens, I recommend this as a compelling read.

Community care

If you’ve heard about the tragic shooting in DC over the weekend at Moechella, I urge you rather than focusing on why the performance didn’t have a permit (at an event centered around creatively protesting gentrification!! ), to read eye witness reports from Black DC residents on social media and think about how hundreds of cops were at the event and didn’t prevent the tragic death of a 15 year-old kid. More cops does not make an event - or a school - safer. Cops do not save kids at school and they don’t save them in the street. We need more gun control, and we need to fight poverty and violence with secure housing, food, and quality education, not bigger police budgets.

Editor’s note

Last edition was mistakenly titled as Vol. 33; it was Vol. 43. :) As always, all typos my own!