Vol. 29: My year in review

I used to be strictly against posting any sort of annual wrap up before December 31 on the dot. After all, what if you find the best book you’ve ever read between December 28 and January 1? But I’m writing you today with my yearly wrap up for a number of reasons:

First, my newsletter comes out on Tuesdays. If you’re not aware (and you very well may not be), it’s a Tuesday. And second, I’m leaning into the what-day-is-it-anyways of the time period between December 25 and 31. I’m not trying to accomplish anything between now and New Year’s Eve. If you’re privileged enough to have some time off work this week, I hope you lean into the hibernation of it all. The To Do list will get done eventually. 

2021 was an incredibly complicated year. Like many of you, I’m still processing 2020 (hell, even 2019), so there’s no way I could properly capture everything. I’m not even going to try to touch on what has happened in the world, the ways Joe Biden has let us down (cancel Student Debt!), the deafening silence from white people who promised to “listen and learn” but didn’t speak out after the books on their antiracist reading list were constantly targeted for censorship and threats. 

I’m not writing about all of that. Yet. I made it through this year. So many we love did not. 

Today you’re gonna get a long ass list of my favorites (books and more), and a peek into what happened when I revisited my 2021 intentions. 

My Favorites of 2021

Favorite 2021 album: Heaux Tales by Jazmine Sullivan. Listened to this album on repeat all year. I love Pick Up Your Feelings, I love Other Side, just love this album!

Favorite artist who got me through it all: Tracy Chapman. Bae & I listened to Tracy & only Tracy during my grandma’s final weeks in hospice and our first weeks without her. Her voice comforted me in my grief. We then randomly found a rare Tracy vinyl in downtown Ann Arbor on a mini date that felt very serendipitous.

Favorite song that will forever make me cry: We walked down the aisle to Adele’s “One And Only.”

Favorite novel: Skye Falling by Mia McKenzie. Hilarious, heartwarming, perfect.

Favorite history: How the Word is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America by Clint Smith. CW: antiblackness, racist violence

Favorite biography: Warrior Poet: A Biography of Audre Lorde by Alexis De Veaux

Proudest reading accomplishment: Beloved by Toni Morrison. Finally!

Favorite chunky book: The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du Bois by Honorée Fannone Jeffers. Long but so absorbing. CW: Child sexual abuse

Favorite YA: One of the Good Ones by Maika Moulite and Maritza Moulite and Yolk by Mary H.K. Choi (CW: eating disorders). YA got me through so much this year.

Favorite essays: A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib and Girlhood by Melissa Febos (CW: misogyny, sexual assault)

Favorite book that helped me live more intentionally & deepen my relationships: How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship and Community by Mia Birdsong

Favorite newsletters: Leave it to Leonor is the Gold standard of newsletters. Jenay Ross Zhyrov’s Thank You For Being Here always inspires me (and has built our beautiful, best pen palmanship!). Nicole Chung’s I Have Notes is worth The Atlantic subscription ten times over. Trevor Smith’s Reparations Daily (Ish) helps keep me up to date with a cause I believe in.

Favorite local outdoor restaurants/bars: Silver Branch Brewing Co (Silver Spring), Cielo Rojo (Takoma Park), Midlands (DC/Petworth), Hawkers (Bethesda), All Set (Silver Spring)

Favorite takeout: ChiKo. I forgive them for getting rid of the crab rangoons because the crispy chicken rolls with the Chinese hot mustard are everything to me.

Favorite recipe: Omsom Krapow or Hello Fresh Corn and Poblano Chowder

Favorite candle: Boy Smells Italian Kush

Favorite mindless TV shows: My taste is the epitome of Good Books and Bad TV. Memorable shows I watched this year include Scandal (still haven’t finished), Pretty Little Liars (still haven’t finished - that transphobic reveal was a lot), and Manifest (Shoot Season 4 directly into my veins).

2021 Intentions and Did I Meet Them?

Figure out a mental health plan that works for me: When I wrote this in January 2021, I was seeing a therapist who wasn't a fit for me and I knew it. Writing this intention down was the accountability I needed to finally quit her - but I still don’t have a new therapist. I’m currently on the waitlist for another.

Write 4 things I’m proud of: Starting this newsletter was a Godsend for my writing and I wouldn't have accomplished this without it. Two of my favorite pieces I wrote for the newsletter are “Thoughts from a Queer Covid Bride” and “My relationship to relationships: Thoughts on Friendship & Justice.” I'm looking forward to doing more long form newsletter writing in 2022.

Plan a wedding: DONE! Wedding planning under the best circumstances is not easy. Planning a true-to-us, queer, interracial wedding in a global pandemic in 5 months while grieving is one of my biggest accomplishments. It was the most beautiful day. We had 30 friends & family in person and felt the love from afar as well.

Mariah Miranda Photography

Maintain Lauren Leavell Fitness classes: I definitely took time off but overall I still attended regularly enough to justify the $39.99/monthly membership. Fitness that doesn’t ever body shame and only focuses on joyful movement has done wonders for my mental health.

Consistent skincare routine with SPF: Done! Shoutout to Paula.

Floss more: I flossed semi-regularly, but could still stand to do it even more. Sigh.

Settle into new apartment: Done. I absolutely love it here. We’ve decided to renew another year and next on the list is to find a table that isn’t a semi-broke, $100 Facebook marketplace find.

Take Max to a dog training class: 100% did not do this.

Read 5 books I own before buying 1: LOL. I did take a couple months off of buying books, and I think my book buying is more focused and less erratic.

Pay off Credit Card debt: Did not do this. I’m an emotional shopper, this was a difficult year, I'm working on it. I got this close to a zero balance, charged way too much shit while I grieving/depressed over the summer, got it back down, then went bananas around the holidays. I’m a work in progress. 

Less food waste: This is one of those quintessential new years resolutions where I was really into it at the start of the year but slowly fell off. I’m going to recommit to this.

Switch to the Storygraph: Done, but admittedly my reading tracking fell off this year because I haven’t quite learned how to use it! Storygraph is a Black woman owned reading app that is a great alternative to Bezos-owned Goodreads.

Read every poetry book I own: I don’t think I even read a single poetry book. DAMMIT.

Dress up for work 3 of 5 days a week: The first day I logged onto work in 2021 was January 6. I wore a cute pink sweater and fancier work leggings. That same day, my best friend was diagnosed with COVID and shortly after, armed insurrectionists stormed the capital. I didn’t dress up for awhile. Overall, I dressed cuter this year than the year prior, and am slowly finding my sense of personal style again after weight gain. It’s a give and take between my commitment to paying down my credit card debt and my desire to find new clothes that help me love my current body. 

Final thoughts: On staying the same

For most of my life, I've spent this season reflecting on how I've grown over the previous calendar year. I love striving for my best self, but sometimes our capitalist culture's obsession with "growth" is unhealthy. I want to celebrate the parts of myself that didn't change, the ways I already was living out my values prior to 2021 and continued to do so this past year.

It may feel indulgent to say this, but I hope you read it in the context of my previous writing on grappling with self confidence: I am a loving, caring person. I work hard to show up for my people, and I love myself for that. I've always loved my ability to grow and maintain relationships, and this past year, my friendships and community have meant so much to me. 

My community took so many different forms this past year, and for those of you, readers and real life friends, I am forever grateful.

So tell me: What were your favorites of 2021? How did you or didn't you reach your goals this year? How did you show up for your community? What are you taking into the new year?

p.s. If you haven't yet, please take <10 minutes to fill out this feedback form. As a token of my appreciation, I'll be doing two random drawings for $10 for those who fill out the survey. You can include either your payment details or the details of your fave mutual aid at the bottom of the survey, and I'll be doing the drawing in early January 2022.