Vol. 23: "But, you know, they did."

Another person in your inbox talking about how IG was down…

I’ve been doing this newsletter semi-regularly for almost 8 months now and when IG went down yesterday, I did not sweat. IG has meant so much to me over the past 3.5 years - I've grown my career and built lifelong friendships - but writing this newsletter has helped me accept that my time with the app is limited. I’m proud of the 700 person community I’ve cultivated through this newsletter. I appreciate all of you reading along and being with me on the journey!

Depending on the day, I’m either in wedding planning hell or heaven, which is why I missed last week’s newsletter. I have SO many thoughts on weddings, family, boundaries, what marriage even means, and - most of all - the hetereonormativity and homophobia that has been ever-present in our wedding planning. If you’re a recent subscriber, I’m really proud of the newsletter I wrote back in March, “thoughts from a queer COVID bride.” Eventually I will share an updated essay but haven’t had time or capacity. And while I created this newsletter to hold myself accountable to more regular creative writing, I don’t want to force an analysis on a process I’m still a part of.

That said, in lieu of a full essay on my thoughts, I’m including below my favorite excerpt from Ross Gay’s A Book of Delights - one of the most truly delightful, remarkable books about finding beauty in daily life. Thank you to Taylor for reminding me of this passage.

Current & recent reads

My reading slump is FINALLY over, though admittedly I haven’t had as much room for reading as I’d like. Still, the books have been high quality and helping root myself in my creativity.

I read Infinite Country by Patricia Engel and was totally blown away by her gorgeous prose and succinct, powerful storytelling in just 200 pages. This is an immigrant narrative, a story of a family, an examination of citizenship and the way society fails us. I highly recommend this novel.

I finally reread Joy Harjo’s Crazy Brave and I loved it even more than when I read it the first time in college. Her book has me recommitting to my “knowing,” which is both intuition and more than that, recommitting to my love of poetry. It also made me reflect just how much my life feels like it’s gotten away from myself, how I haven't been tapping into parts of myself & my spirituality that I love. I’m in awe of her as a poet, musician and writer and can’t recommend this book enough. After finishing Crazy Brave, I started her newest memoir Poet Warrior and am equally in love.

Small biz corner

If you’re someone looking to buy gifts to give around November/December, whether for holidays, birthdays, or because you deserve a treat for making it through 2021, I’m going to gently encourage you to shop small and shop early - thus, the return of this section!

The pandemic is ongoing, with worsening USPS delays, and supply chain shortages, so: shop early. Our dollars can have an impact, Jeff Bezos does NOT need our money, and shopping from Black-owned businesses is not a trend but a value (and a REALLY EASY WAY to take one incomplete step towards build generational wealth in communities that have been stripped of it for decades), so: shop small, and do your research!

When two of Bae’s college teammates recently got engaged, we sent them Bifties gift boxes. They loved them! Bifties features all Black-owned brands and you can either buy a pre-curated box (what we did), or make your own. Super easy and cute.

I wanted a couple cute matching sets for our minimoon where we’ll be doing hikes and yoga classes, and I came across GrindLikeaDoll on IG, a Black-owned athleisure company. My turquoise set arrived last night and they’re SO soft and comfortable. I haven’t yet worked out in them, and even though they’re not intended to be high impact, I may wear them to cardio barre with Lauren tonight just because I’m excited. For reference, I am 5’7”, with a 31 inch waist and carry most of my weight in my belly and got an M, which fits really well.

I do want to note, they’re not size inclusive - with the largest size available an XL (34 inch waist, or 40DD on top). I’m going to do some more research for inclusive athleisure small businesses because the lack of size inclusivity is a serious problem. 

Community Care

I don’t know how closely you have been following the horrific bulldozing of encampments in NoMa, DC, a real-time display of how this country criminalizes homelessness. Some places to donate are Pathways to Housing (read their statement on the encampments here) and Street Sense, which works nationwide but has a strong presence in DC. I would love to hear more mutual aid recs if any readers have suggestions!

As you all know, I’m a huge fan of Free Minds Book Club, and they are having a virtual book launch tonight for their latest collection, When You Hear Me (You Hear Us). Get tickets and a copy of the book here.

That’s all, folks!

Who knows - by the time I write you next, I may or may not be a whole ass wife. Our wedding is fast approaching, and while I have decided not to share the exact date publicly, I already know I will be sharing photos and stories with my newsies (AKA all of you) prior to sharing on (my public) IG.

Photo by Mariah Miranda Photography