Vol. 17: Spinning

Hello again

I was a junior in high school when Jack’s Mannequin’s The Glass Passenger album came out, and I listened to the song “Spinning” on repeat. “I can’t remember when the earth turned slowly,” I’d sing out loud, or mouth along, thinking about my busy life, the high school theater club I was president of, the church play, the homework piled up. I glamorized the business and stress, singing along with Andrew McMahon: “I’ll find my way but until then I’m only spinning.”

Of course it’s laughable now thinking back to how self important I was over high school theater club, but the truth is I can’t remember a time since then that I have truly slowed down. And I consider myself someone who is not nearly as bad at overworking as many of my peers. The past few weeks have been spinning of a different kind. Things are moving all around me but I’m standing still, in a fog of grief. My grandma died on June 10, six days before her 91st birthday, after two weeks in hospice. 

I think all of my subscribers know this, either because you’re an IRL friend or follow me on social. I can’t imagine any of you are surprised to not have heard from me, and I know no one waited on baited breath for my newsletters anyways. It’s not that serious. It’s also only been three weeks, though what a long three weeks it’s been. I’m not apologizing for ghosting.

The newsletter fell down on my list of priorities, not because I don’t love it, but because I didn’t know how to send a newsletter about anything other than my grandma dying, and I’m not ready to write the newsletter about my grandma dying. I started writing with a plan to only do a short newsletter, but here I am rambling.

Moving forward, I’m going to lighten the (self-imposed) pressure, by sending newsletters out only every other week, and always in the “slice of life” format that includes bullets and wrap ups. You may hear from me on the off week if I have something to say. I want to get back into writing longer form letters, but I need to hold on until the room stops spinning.

Books, books, books

• Patrick Radden Keefe’s Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty was my big June project. I listened to 18 hours of audio in the 3 weeks before my Libby hold went onto the next listener. I definitely recommend this for anyone who is into investigative journalism and/or being enraged by capitalism.

• I recently finished Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen and highly recommend it. I went into this book thinking I knew a decent amount about asexuality but found myself very wrong. It’s also my favorite kind of nonfiction, that looks at a million shades of gray and examines aspects of society that we (speaking as an allosexual person) take for granted in a very new light. (Disclosure: this was gifted to me by Beacon Press)

• I read One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston and… it was good, but I wasn’t obsessed with it. You can read my thoughts here. I’m excited to read Alyssa Cole’s latest queer novel, How to Find a Princess.

• I’m currently reading Clint Smith’s How the Word is Passed and it is absolutely incredible. His writing is beautiful and very provoking as poet and historian Smith looks at how we do (or do not) reckon with the history of slavery in the United States (disclosure: Little Brown sent me a copy for free, but I also bought one with my own money bc I had already preordered it when the gifted one arrived!).

Small Business Corner

Lately I’m obsessed with the idea of upping my mug collection and slowly bringing in gorgeous (expensive AF) handcrafted ceramic mugs, like from Mudwitch or Golden Object. Both of these stores are currently out of stock, so you can look and obsess without being at risk of spending money, but I also recommend signing up for their newsletter or notifications if you want to know when their next product drop will be.

Self Care 

I absolutely loved this episode of Thank You For Asking podcast with Jessica Lauren on calling it quits. There are so many gems here: visualizing the best outcome rather than the worst, and it also just really felt like two friends hanging out & loving on one another. I physically smiled through so much of the episode, and want to start listening to Jessica’s Sunday Jumpstart podcast!

Community Care

You can support the work of the Greene Clothe, Black eco-feminist lifestyle collective with a focus on food activism (food sovereignty & insecurity) as it affects marginalized communities by helping them provide supplies and pay artists for their upcoming July 4th Plant Swap.

Closing Out/Support My Work

As a reminder, if you want to support this free newsletter, you can forward to a friend, share it on social media, shop my Bookshop, buy a Birthdate candle with the code ALLISONREADS10 or venmo me at @Allison-Punch.

Here's Grandma teaching me how to shine my boots. She was the absolute best.