Some delights in a busy season, #FreeBlackMamas and more

Shoutout to Ross Gay

I have a tendency to give a laundry list of reasons why I’m busy to anyone who will listen, but I don’t necessarily think it’s interesting or important to the person to whom I’m sharing. Talk of “busy-ness” can easily fall into grind culture, glorifying capitalism, and self absorption.

My mind is being pulled in a million different directions; because of this, I’m forgetful, and my attention span for anything outside of my day job is short. I can be very self absorbed when I’m busy, and I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, at least for not a limited period - it’s the reality, and I need to be more explicit about my boundaries for the next three weeks so my circle can adjust their expectations of me accordingly.

Today, I’m grateful for the newsletter community that is causing me to pause and write for a brief moment about what this season of my life looks like. While there’s been a lot of stress, there’s also been many delights I’ve experienced recently (a la Ross Gay, in one of my all time favorites, The Book of Delights):

• Hearing from a lifelong friend I haven’t spoken to in a year about a conversation we had nearly 10 years ago that left an impact.

• Hugging my siblings, who I hadn’t seen since July 2020.

• Morgan from IG sent me a whole box of Reese’s Fast Breaks right at the moment I needed snacks most!

• Having a bad body image day, falling into a spiral of thinking I need to work out more, noticing I was having a bad body image day and letting it be just that.

Similarly but somewhat unrelated, I’ve been reflecting on my inactivity on Instagram over the past few months; so many Bookstagrammers I know have felt similar burn out from the platform, and I can’t quite put my finger on what’s causing it. I’ve read 19 books so far this year but only reviewed about 4 on IG. I feel a great deal of gratitude for all of you - my newsletter subscribers - since I’m still able to share what I’m reading and engage with you every other week, which honestly feels more sustainable for my reading life than the self- or algorithm-imposed pressure to churn out bookish #content.

Books, Books, Books

• Currently reading:

  • I started The Shadow King by Maaza Mengiste for my IRL book club pick. This is a historical fiction novel looking at women warriors in Ethiopia following Mussolini’s 1935 invasion, a topic that sounds absolutely fascinating. I can’t quite get into it yet, but I’m still early in - if you’ve read it, I’d love to hear if it grabbed you from the beginning or if it took you awhile to warm up.

  • I’ve also started listening to Ashley C. Ford’s forthcoming memoir Somebody’s Daughter thanks to Libro.Fm’s advanced listening partner program (content warning: child abuse, sexual assault). This was one of my most anticipated memoirs and I’m loving listening to Ford read her debut.

• Recent favorites:    

  • I listened to Morgan Jerkins’ new novel Caul Baby and I absolutely LOVED it. This is a fascinating, perfectly crafted intergenerational family drama following the Melancons, a family of women who sell their Caul for a living, and looks at their lives in Harlem over the years. This book looks at Black motherhood/womanhood, gentrification and also is just really damn well done (content warning: miscarriage, stillbirth, medical racism).    

  • Have I raved about Mia Birdsong’s How We Show Up in the newsletter yet? Birdsong is the plenary speaker of the conference I’m planning and this book had a huge impact on how I think about my relationships, chosen family, boundaries, and accountability. It’s at the intersection of self help and social justice, written by an abolitionist, but if none of that sounds very appealing to you, I promise you should still read it. I LOVE IT.

Self Care Corner

I’ve joked that I need to rename this section “do as I say, not as I do.” In February, I wrote about how tracking all my expenses was helping me feel empowered and more on top of my finances blah blah blah. Well, in March, I didn’t track A DIME, and went way over budget in every area of my life.

I’m proud to share that I added a monthly “Money Meeting” to my Google calendar, recurring every Friday, for my fiancee and I to input our weekly expenses into the spreadsheet. This method worked in April and held me accountable to tracking my expenses and better managing my budget.

Community Care

• The COVID situation in India is absolutely dire; I recommend giving what you can at GiveIndia.org.

• I love participating in the #FreeBlackMamas every year through the National Bail Out; while cash bail is inhumane and must be abolished (along with the whole Prison Industrial Complex), this is a small, concrete way you can help Black women be with their children for Mother’s Day. It’s not too late to give here.

• Traci from The Stacks is just $5,000 short of her $50K goal for the Million Book Project! Give here if you haven’t yet.

Can I share your words with the newsletter?

A friendly reminder to please submit your thoughts for my newsletter at the end of the month. I would LOVE to share your words, links or whatever else you have to say. Submit here by May 20, 2021. 

Some questions to explore: What’s bringing you delight these days? What’s keeping you up at night? Maybe a book recommendation? You don’t have to make it fancy.

And no, I will not be including the submission from this person below (thanks Bae).